Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Would you believe mourning makes us more like Jesus? The shortest verse in the bible is John 11:35 "Jesus wept." He wept for the loss of his beloved friend Lazarus. God loved us first which made it so we can love, and because of this love we can love others so much we grieve them. Jesus mourned the loss of his friend even though he would call him to rise again. John 11:43-44 "When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.”The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” The fact we love someone enough to mourn them shows we have a likeness of Jesus. So in this time of loss know for one you have a likeness of Jesus and for two Jesus's love for us can be a great comfort during these times.
There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Now everyone will go through these stages differently. Some will take longer than others and may come in a different order. Know that grieving is okay, remember even Jesus mourned a friend, and grieving as long as you need to is okay. Grieving as long as you need to is okay, but if it seems as if you are in a dark place you can not get out of for one don't lose faith in our lord in savior keeping your relationship with the lord will help you greatly. For two try to talk to people in your life, especially those with faith in God. For three there is no shame in needing to talk to psychologist or therapist.
Denial is the stage where we feel lost. Our whole world has changed, and we want to put it back together. It's usually the stage where people who are mourning get very little sleep. You end up having many dreams of your loved one when you do sleep, and your mind never seems to calm down. This stage has your brain all scrambled because it's trying to make sense of the fact that your loved one is truly gone.
Anger is the stage we start questioning God. We ask why, and some deaths make no sense to us. We get angry at God, and we question why he took someone we loved so much. Being angry at God is a completely normal, and very common thing with death. The best thing during this time is to tell God your angry. Trust me God will not turn his back on you. Tell God you don't understand why and tell him why you're angry. God came to earth in flesh as Jesus he walked with us and felt our emotions so he understands, and he cares greatly.
Bargaining is where in the middle of loss we try to regain control. We start asking what could've been done differently. What could we do to change things? Some may ask God to bring their loved one back if they started being a better Christian all around. Sadly God isn't giving our loved ones back. God has a plan no one understands. What happens during this plan can hurt and discourage us, but it also grows and changes us. We also have free will so what we do with ourselves during this time can help us grow or can take us down a wrong road. I wish I had the answers to why some loved ones are taken but I do not. Sometimes we just have to put our trust in God without answers, and follow his ways and see where it leads us.
Depression is the part of grief I don't think everyone hits. Maybe for a little while, but not so bad. It can also affect others strongly. The depression part of grief is the part where you don't feel like doing anything, you feel numb, you lose interest in hobbies, and you may stop seeing friends and family. This is the part of grief to really submerge yourself in God. Read up on comforting scriptures, get counsel from your pastor, and just pray. I recommend this from the very beginning, but it is essential at this point in attaining a sound mind once again and going into the next stage of grief.
Acceptance in grief is the time in grief when you feel like you are halfway normal again. You are able to look at happy memories and laugh, you may still cry but it isn't as heavy in despair. It's a time where you can forgive the person who you lost and God. Acceptance makes it so the day to day isn't so heavy. You may have certain dates and times of year you're a complete mess, but truthfully that is normal. Loving someone so much you are always going to miss them when they are gone.
Grief never technically stops. You always miss the your loved ones, and you may still feel terrible on their birthday twenty years down the line. Something great is looking back and noticing how God helped you walk through this. He had his hands on your shoulders holding you up as you slipped down. As you talked to God and asked him for help he helped you feel at least a little better. At least I hope you can look back and see that. In this article, I hope to show that talking to God and keeping a strong faith in him during grief can help you greatly. Most Christians have heard "God is good all the time. All the time God is good." It's because he is, and he wants us to confide in him. We just have to keep our relationship with God strong and keep praying to him. It's easy to pull away from him during these times, but keeping him close will be your best choice.